It's My Party & I'll Cry if I Want To

I woke up this morning, took a deep breath and went to check the results of the Badass Blog Awards. The winner, was not me...cue the waterworks. 

Okay. It was only a few. But that's a pretty cry if I've ever seen one & has totally set the bar for my next sobfest. I then decided to get my ass up & exercise. I've set a goal of not looking like a whale that washed up on land in my bikini, which I totally misspelled in a photo I instagrammed. Like really, who misspells bikini & PS-in hindsight I knew it didn't look right but couldn't figure it out. Yes, this is what a quality high school education & no college degree get you. Jealous? 

So while I was getting my walk/run on I decided to feel the burn & then get the hell over it. This is my feel the burn paragraph entitled, All the Reasons it Makes Sense I Didn't Win. 

1. Like three people publicly follow this blog. I'd like to thank all three of you! 

2. I only just reached 300 twitter followers. Which is what the cool kids call "baby anon." I'm still just a baby.

3. I have a whopping four likes on Facebook. One including me so let's make that three. 

4. My mom is not regular reader of this blog. My mom, well she's old and doesn't understand my bitter heart. She got married last year. On New Years Eve actually, did you know it's my second favorite holiday to Halloween? I wonder if she knows in my "love fantasy" I want to be proposed to on NYE? She gets to celebrate the day she said "I do" every year for the second time on 12/31. Um, can I have my turn???? 

5. My BFF doesn't read regularly either. I usually email her my latest & greatest work. Did I mention she's getting married this summer? So she's got her hands full as the final days tick down and here my whiny ass is making it all about me.

6. I realized on my walk/run I sometimes make things all about me. This is my all about me moment. Oh, I'm also on my period and clearly I'm on the "I'm going to be totally crazy, ridiculous and cry" day. Okay that covers it. 

I'm a glass half full kind of girl just not when it comes to love. I'm just getting started. I've found my voice, three people who like to read my ramblings & I'm the skinniest I've ever been!  I've made up my mind to do some very non-characteristic like things which I can't wait to do & tell you, all three of you that is about! I have no idea what the future holds but I know there best to be a funny & attractive man ready to impregnate me when I reach the end of my single girl journey! And since it's my fantasy I'd like him to be holding a six pack of beer and flowers, anything but roses. How about a cactus? Hey, a girl can dream! 

Signed the little girl in us all that sometimes just needs to pretty cry.

 XO, Miss BB