I Hate Your Facebook Relationship

I know that hate is a strong word but it truly is the most appropriate way to express my feelings. The way I see it is sometimes there are going to be things that you hate. The same goes for people and in that instance you take the lessons learned with you, leave them behind and seek your revenge by being the happiest best looking you, you can be. Looking good is and always will be the best revenge!

But let's get back to the hate. When it comes to social media you will inevitably have moments when you're left scratching your head & think, "did so and so really just say that???" You mean they actually typed this & hit post. Then you'll be left to ponder if this person is in possession of a filter, if it's broken or perhaps been placed in the lost & found bin never to be seen again.

The First Facebook Relationship Status I Hate...

Is when you post a lovey dovey status update about your significant other and that person just so happens to be sitting next to you on the couch, I hate you. Here's an idea pause the tv (or wait for a commercial break), tap them on the shoulder and tell them. It is beyond me why people find it necessary to hit us over the head with "their love." Its yours. I know I sound like a lonely spinster but believe it or not I'm happy for your love,  but you don't hear me shouting it from the rooftops. Why? Because I'd look like a dumbass. Which is exactly what you look like only no one you know is going to tell you. 

I Hate This Status Too, Like A Lot...

If you are currently on an emotional rollercoaster with your significant other keep that shit to yourself. I get it, relationships aren't always easy & the person you love isn't always lovable. I'm sorry but if this describes your relationship you've got to keep your mouth shut.  I know how hard that is. No really, I just wrote about it & sometimes being a passive aggressive bitch just comes easier, I get it. Here's a secret there's power in silence. The first person you should give the silent treatment is the person who's treating you subpar & then do the rest of us a favor and give us the cold shoulder too. 

You look like an idiot when one day you're in love & the next you aren't. We are all starring into a screen and silently judging you. We're a little curious as to why you can't kick him to the curb. It's a few minutes of entertainment at the expense of your heart and that's  not fair to you. If he's an ass dump him, get fine, find a new man (who treats you better) and throw it in his face. Done and done.

I Hate This Status the MOST ...

There's nothing worse then referring to the person you're "sorta with" undercover. For example: "This weekend was amazing. I can't believe this is happening. You're the best!" The whole you know who you are post doesn't work because the rest of us don't know who you're talking about & news flash we want to. People update their Facebook status for a response and/or likes and there is no way in hell I'm clicking like on posts like this. Use better judgement by doing one of the following: 

A. If you aren't officially "together together" than wait until you are so you can use his freaking name without giving him a heart attack. 

B. If it's new and you aren't really wanting the whole judgy part that comes along with "publicly claiming" a person don't do it all. 

C. Tell him directly on the phone (you know it makes calls, right?), send him a text, email or be really forward and tell him the next time you see him.