Friday, February 21, 2014

Post Valentine's Day Hangover

It was exactly a week ago today that the lovers were loving and what I was not doing was staring deeply into a pair of sweet baby browns. You see there's this man, don't some of our best stories start like that? So let's start again shall we, there's this man I like. We sort of have some history if you tilt your head to the side, close one eye & squint. In ten words or less: six dates, he hits it, quits it & I'm thinking wtf. One drunken text later, his declaration of not wanting anything serious & here we are present day. If you want to read about it for yourself, here you go

So on V-day I was hopeful that I would hear from him. Him being Aidan I sort of skipped introducing him properly, where the hell are my manners? Late afternoon I finally did. Want to know the best part? He didn't actually use the words Valentine's Day, opting instead for a red heart! Which made me laugh and not able to resist poking fun at that by calling it "the day that shall remain nameless." He does possess the ability to say Valentine's Day when he said we would do a belated Valentine's Day the following week, we already had a date on the calendar. Oh, I got another red heart. He gets props for understanding my sense of humor, acknowledging that we weren't spending the evening together but we would be soon enough & excellent use of an emoticon. 

This date actually extended to the following day, that's right I spent the night. I know I'm such a slut! When he proposed this idea I was kind of taken aback, like all the way back. See I kind of need definition & parameters to resemble a somewhat successful single woman looking for love. It's casual but sometimes it doesn't feel that way & sleeping over wasn't on my list of "pre-approved activities." I guess we can call it a late addition. Going into this evening I was so nervous, like ridiculous! But why? We know each other, we like each other & once we were together and the margaritas were flowing it was like how it always is, a lot of fun! Why I gotta be such a worry wart? It's just who I am. 

So do you like how I just slipped in that I spent the night with a man I'm totally not dating even though it would appear I was to a passerby. Hey, there are some perfect strangers who totally thought I had a boyfriend! Question: how do I get that to translate to real life? I wouldn't go as far to say I'm clueless more than letting the love (which could very well be a stretch but just go with it) develop. I can't put him in headlock and say, "you're mine motherfucker," right? Not that its crossed my mind or anything. But real talk I have these moments where I think there is some hope for us and in total opposition to the warm and fuzzies I experience doubt of epic proportions. All I can say is that I hope the mental turmoil and emotional anguish I've been subjecting myself to is because I'm a menstruating crazy pants. Hormones are a real thing but fortunately for Aidan I've already tortured one man with them and have learned to just keep quiet. My guess is by this time next week I'll be back to my somewhat normal self. 

All that rambling and I said not one word about waking up in a bed that was not my own. Since this isn't a sex blog I'll spare you those details but I will say this it's nice falling asleep in the arms of strapping older man & waking up to him kissing me isn't so bad either. Funny story: he kind of gave me a hard time about my overnight bag. I packed as efficiently as I possibly could. But there was no way in hell I was going to do anything that resembled the walk of shame (or pride as some of friends on Twitter refer to it)! If I'm too old for that then he definitely is too. It wasn't cute in college but we didn't know any better, we do now. So an outfit appropriate for 9AM was absolutely positively man-da-freakin-tory. Just between us girls, I'm looking forward to the next one. 

My last Valentine's Day commentary for year is a single girl PSA: 

That calculation works out to be 279 days or if you're like me and that sounds like no time at all nine months and six days, now that I can work with! Plenty of time to find a man, right? Damn right! 

XO, Miss BB 

Friday, February 14, 2014

A (not so) Drunk in Love Valentine's Day (just drunk)

Before I get all carried away let's take a moment actually six minutes & twenty-two seconds to get in the spirit...

Confession time: I watched this video for the first time just moments before I began writing this, it was my attempt at being informed. I didn't take to iTunes and download the musical or visual offerings of Bey and still one day I hope to find myself drunk in the club dancing (I don't dance. I move but dance is a stretch.) to this song. How many people do you think chose this song as their first dance? I'm not gonna lie it crossed my mind but enough of that. 

This is me, actually it's Jessica Biel. Except you probably know that. What do you see? I see a fab headband, big smile & fantastic heart shaped piñata! Ummm, you know that piñatas are the most festive touch a party can have, right? Oh, you didn't? Now you do! This is where we reach a fork in the road though. When it comes to Valentine's Day you've got the girls like Jessica Biel from the film  Valentine's Day who hate it & then you have girls like me the lovers of day with dark orgins. Yeah so that cute chubby baby ain't such a cute chubby baby and something about poisonous arrows. 

Fantasy vs. Reality 

My fantasy Valentine's Day would start with a hot n' heavy romp in the wee hours of the morning, first gift of the day a new monogrammed robe, coffee from the Keriug I got for my birthday (well because it's my damn fantasy & Valentine's Day isn't the only day of the year not having a boyfriend doesn't cross my mind), breakfast made by yours truly and then a regular ass day would play out like every other regular ass day except somewhere (see how I'm not being picky here) I'd receive a singing telegram that would gift me with a gigantic stuffed animal and jumbo bag of Harbio gummy bears (because I don't just want any brand gummy bears), my boyfriend would walk through the door with some beer with a bow on it (you know cause it's a gift), dinner (another detail I'm not over thinking I just want to eat) & then the day would end how it began. 

In reality it's 5AM on Valentine's Day and I'm writing this, actually everything but the previous paragraph was written yesterday. I was trying to thwart my current procrastination style writing. I'd say I did pretty damn well (except it's 7:00PM and I'm just getting to posting this)! My daughter is asleep. I'm not sure if it's more cliche to say she's my Valentine or that I'm my own. It's not like she's going to say no it will be more like where's my gift & that's how we know the love is real! I'm going to take her to the mall to play, buy her Taco Bell for lunch, lay her down for a nap, watch tv & drink a vodka tonic, wake her up, make dinner, pick up a mess for at least the second time today that I didn't make, get her in pj's, tell her it's almost time for bed, say lights outs as she begs for one more show, give in because that's what good moms do, then really turn the light out but not before giving her hug & telling her I love her with all my heart. Just a regular ass day doing the things the person I love wants. 

Signed the girl single on Valentine's Day again.