|"You can't think yourself out of a writing block, you have to write yourself out of a thinking block."|
Over the past few months I've done more thinking then I've done writing. In addition to suffering from writers block my heart is all kinds of fucked up. You see in the past even when my heart was aching I was never at a loss for putting that ache into words. But something changed actually it was a someone not a something. As I prepared to do what I do best and take to the keyboard I found myself paralyzed.
Let the Blame Game Begin!
The culprit should come as no surprise, it was a man. More than that though I found myself in the same place I'd been with the same man. I didn't want to admit that. How many times can you tell the same story before someone goes, "you aren't tired of this shit yet?" And then what? What do I say? No. I mean that's what continuing to be the other half of the worlds worst romance is saying, right? Well fine, put on your judgy pants and judge away. I have writing to do! I know what to do I'm just not ready to do it. How's that for honesty? It actually feels pretty good, see there's no point in any of this if I'm not going to be honest. And up until this very moment I didn't know how to be without feeling like a complete idiot.
Dating vs. Audtioning
So when I Googled "dating is fun" the first hit was an article from AskMen.com, titled Dating Evolution (http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/the-dating-evolution.html). It was written by a 37 year old single man, his name is Mike & he was where I am, trying to figure out how to make dating fun. He breaks it down pretty nicely: dating was sort of magical as a teenager, no pressure just connecting. Then you hit your 20s and there's a shift. I love how he puts it, it's not dating it's socializing. The kind of socializing that leads to sex. Now as we face singledom in our 30s it's definitely not dating that we're doing it's auditioning. Which couldn't be more true for me. I've gotten so caught up in finding the one that I've basically said screw the fun I'm ready to find Mr. Right, get engaged & turn my Pinterest wedding board into reality.
Well none of that happens if I don't dial back the agenda driven single girl within. Remember when it was just about letting it happen without even realizing that's what you were doing? Me either, but I'm going to try and just let it happen. Here's to all the fun dating was, that it isn't but is about to be!
XO, Miss BB