Sunday, January 19, 2014

To Date Me You Can't Text Me

Let's pretend the hottie to the left is sending yours truly a text message, up until this very moment I would have been all about it. My latest dating pledge goes like this: men can call, write or email me (listed in preferred preference) but they can not, I repeat can not text me & this single girl right here means business. As I searched for where and how to start this I came to the realization that there are a vast array of to do's & to dont's when it comes to this texting thing. I can't begin to count the hours of my life I've lost and can never get back thanks to what we've all come to know as a winless game of cat & mouse. I say winless because one I'm single and two I don't think I've ever carried on a healthly "textship." Like I said I'm single.

Act Like the Growup you Actually Are  

"It may be cute for teenagers to text their sweetheart all day and night, that is really no way for intelligent, confident adults to communicate." -Roxanne Jones, founding editor of ESPN The Magazine& former VP at ESPN

Texting allows you to hide. When I look back at the textships I've carried on they were kind of like optical illusions. There were men I wanted more from I just didn't know how to get it so I just went with it. My problem has always been just going with it. Oh, and giving that's my thing when it comes to men. If he's not going to put in the effort then he must want me to do it for him, right? Wrong! 

When I should have been done I held on for dear life. Like with the first man I ever loved who I never actually told I loved. He hurt me over and over again and I just kept going back for more. The first year we dated we spent NYE together, the next we didn't, he actually spent it with his ex, the pictures found there way to Facebook. How nice, huh? This is the same ex who caught me at his house. We weren't doing anything it had been done. So what happened was as we were saying goodbye it turned back in to hello. Like that's never happened to you! Yeah, you think that's awkward it gets better. How about homegirl called me and was all like, "you know that's my man." He wasn't hers anymore than he was mine & that ladies wasn't even the final straw.

Real Men Talk they Don't Text 

"Texting is not the place for anything serious. Never handle something over text that should be handled in person or over the phone. This just shows that you are a weakling who deserves a good slapping. Swallow your fear and pick up the phone. -Michael Masters, Relationship Expert

I clearly need to befriend some relationship expert friends because Michael just described my non existent relationship with Big. It's all one hot ass mess that up until very recently I couldn't get enough of. We've had full blown textbook dysfunctional text message conversations. Whew, that was a mouthful! What can I say other than it takes time to get someone out of your system. He's not fully out either but I'm done carrying on like a teenager. I'm a grown ass woman who doesn't want to be an old ass single woman. 

My last bit of advice for those of you not taking the pledge with me, hey, I get it, these things take time, "the hotter the person is, the less you should be texting them. Don't be needy." Don't be that girl, I've been that girl and you don't want to be her. 

If you want to read Roxanne's article in its entirety, which I highly encourage: 

You're welcome. 

XO, Miss BB 

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