Last Wednesday was date night, with Aidan. Funny story before I get to the dissecting it.
I'm on the phone with the bestie, just catching up and I mention that I'm seeing and Aidan and crickets. I'm laughing and nodding my head as I tell you this. She is not Aidan's #1 fan. I mean he did hurt my feelings so she's not exactly pulling anything out of her ass but that's in the past. From the onset of our not exactly love affair I've been more tight lipped than I've been when it came dishing deets. I don't know how to explain it but Aidan is different. Like, different in a good way. I like the way he treats me, the way I feel when I'm with him and I don't know if I did any of that justice when I talked to her about him. So now I have one less person to go to and that puts me here, working through it. Which isn't such a bad thing considering the topic at hand is my dating life. #theendAidan was in the NYC last week for work. I did see him before his departure which was actually on Mother's Day & yes and told me Happy Mother's Day. He better have, right? I told him that I had seen this movie he really liked. So about this film, it's called Upstream Color & I'm gonna do what I should have before I watched it, give you the IMDb synopsis: A man and woman are drawn together, entangled in the life cycle of an ageless organism. Identity becomes an illusion as they struggle to assemble the loose fragments of wrecked lives. It was also written, directed, produced, edited, composed, designed, cast by and starring Shane Carruth. It's a sci-fi/drama, it's the sci-fi part that I sort of struggled to understand but I love a good drama! I also took it upon myself to google indie films on Netflix and ended up watching Kids with Friends and Bachelorette, both pretty good movies just not exactly bringing the heat in the way I had sort of envisioned when I talked about it with him. #itried
Aidan always asks me when I'm free, that's how he words it, he's super considerate and that's just how the conversation goes. I can't help but wonder what the verbage would be like if we working in the confines of definition, if you catch my drift. Like would he say, "when do I get see your beautiful face this week?' Anywho, in the back and forth of our banter I said something but attempted to keep it light and playful by adding an "lol." Wanna know what I said? Of course you do! I said, you can tell me all about how much you missed me, lol. Wanna know what he said? Of course you do! He said, I did miss you, that's why I want to see you tonight. Oh really??? Well then how could I say no to that? We caught up over drinks, he told me about his trip, showed me a video & I told him how my week went. PS-We were on a patio and the weather was awesome! PPS-This is what I want our summer together to look like. #summerloving
Now we've reached the part of the evening where one thing leads to another. When it comes to discussing what happens between the sheets I usually err on the side of less is more. So in that vain, we look at each other, laugh & then he kisses me. I basically melt into him. #youknowtherest
Then the clothes come back on and I am sort of in this weird after sex haze. You can't have sex with someone you like and like them less, unless the sex was whack & in that case I'm sorry for that. I have all these thoughts run through my mind but from outward appearances look like I've got my shit together. I don't know if the silence is comfortable or not. I don't have any idea what he's thinking. Then I think I'm making something out of nothing. We're different, we do things differently & I imagine have different ideas of what togetherness looks like. If you were to tilt your head, squint your eye & stand on one leg it might appear as though we're dating. I go back and forth between needing to have to DTR, sometimes it matters and sometimes it doesn't. It's like do I really have to put the man in a headlock to get an answer, where the hells the romance in that? #idemandromance