Friday, August 29, 2014

The Conversation Formula That Gets Men Laid, Part I

This my very first guest post written by a man for men. Kevin is a dating coach, author & about to drop some major knowledge on the ancient art of talking a woman out of her panties in 3,2,1...

It's Friday guys, and you know what that means...You're headed our tonight in search of fun, drink and maybe the chance to talk to a pretty girl. I got you covered, brohim...

The Conversation Formula That Gets You Laid

Let me ask you a deeply personal and very serious question...

When was the last time that you had a conversation with a woman where you guys had everything in common, you did your best to make her laugh (and laugh she did), and to boot, she loved to hear about everything you read in The Economist this week, (you big, smart, funny man, you) and when all was said and done, all of that logical, serious conversation ended up with your cock in her mouth? 

Oh, it didn't? 

Are you surprised? 

Oh, you are? 

Okay, come up here, and sit in ol' Uncle Kevin's lap, he's about to dish out some well-needed knowledge and wisdom to the men reading this blog post. Chances are it's Friday or Saturday at about 1am, and jerk-off session to unrealistically kinky porn or not, you've decided to find the information you seek on the Internet, in order to remedy what just happened. You want a girl in your life. Or maybe two or three, but let's start with just one for now. 

I'm going to cover the conversation formula that will get you laid, because, well...

You're far too good looking to not be getting the kind of action that both of you deserve. Because trust me when I say that as a woman she wants to get it on with you, too, it's just that she needs to feel it up in her cerebrum before her vagina gets any inclination of desire. You see, unlike men, a woman's brain and her vagina are besties (lol!). Our brain and our penis couldn't be further apart; in fact, I don't even think they've ever met each other. Which leads me to our first difference between men and women: 

You have to excite her brain to excite her vagina. 

Now, this does NOT mean that she has to like you. Which explains precisely why the logic and serious conversation above that seeks to find commonality, make her laugh (you're in the right direction with this one, just misapplied), and show your smarts (also a step in the right direction, just slightly misguided), ISN'T WORKING. She's not going out with you on a date, she's not going down on you, she's not doing anything but keeping you in the Friend Zone where you rightfully belong. Which brings me to our second difference between men and women:  

Women have about 95 MORE emotions than men (all of which they can feel simultaneously); one of which, is called "sexual attraction." 

As men, we may feel horny or lust, but we do not actually have the mental capacity to feel sexual attraction the way a woman does. And in fact, since women can also feel several emotions simultaneously, she can very well think that you're a complete idiot while at the same time feeling immense sexual attraction towards you. I've actually had a woman recently tell me how ridiculous I am, while also blushing in heat at the exact same moment. Trust me, the first few times you start to understand and utilise the conversational formula I'll outline below, you'll see women in a whole new [incredibly beautiful] way. Namely as the vibrant, sexual creatures they are, with a goddess-like power that could set 1000 ships to sail. Too much? Maybe. But I dig it.

Let that digest because tomorrow we have the grand logical conclusion. 

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